I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
