My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
