i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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