Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
