Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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