What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
worst night to have a conscience
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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