Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
