dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize