Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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