Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
