$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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