Just cropdusted the office
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
