everyone is single if you try hard enough
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
