he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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