I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm at about main and main street
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
