koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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