so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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