cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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