Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
