and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.