she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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