Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize