I didn't shave. On purpose
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
