Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
