I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
