thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
