You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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