i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She needs sedatives and a leash
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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