I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
