Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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