I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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