So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
