she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize