I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
