I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
