mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
