Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
