You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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