i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
