What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
