I'm eating all of the evidence.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
