I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
