you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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