My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
