how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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