Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
