But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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