I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
