SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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