My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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