I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
