There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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