i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
