we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
