I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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