hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
