you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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