Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
