my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
