She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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