i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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