I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize