I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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